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For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.

Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day Twenty Eight: Something I Miss

Growing up has been an interesting experience. I have enjoyed a great deal, and I have loathed a great deal. Trying to find myself and who I am and who I am going to become has been a long journey, especially the past few years. While I am somewhat content with the woman I have become, sometimes I miss being a child.

They say ignorance is bliss, and they are completely right. When I was little, I never remember having so many things to worry about. I just enjoyed life in my little bubble of naivetĂ©. There were no wars, no poverty, no fears (except for fish and birds), and all disputes were handled on the playground and settled by the time the recess bell rang. No one was catty, mean-spirited or self-righteous. If they were I was never afraid to bring it to the attention of the nearest adult. My biggest problems back then was “someone took my last cookie,” not “I hate my job and wish I could quit but I need a source of income and if this is how I get it so be it, especially since I have no idea what to do with my major once I graduate, and I may be stuck with a job like this forever.”

I miss dreaming about how I would be when I grew up. Now that I have grown up, I’m wondering if my dreams were really the best ideas, or if they should have just stayed dreams. I’m at that point in my life where everything I do will affect the rest of my life as a whole. The classes I take are shaping me to have a degree in English. The connections I am making will be my references for when I apply for a job. The applications I fill out decide whether I will be able to study abroad or not. I miss when the biggest decision I had to make was whether I wanted my sandwich cut in squares or triangles (usually triangles).

Don’t get me wrong, be an adult has a lot of perks and I love and would definitely miss if I were to be a kid again. I couldn’t stand having to be driven around everywhere, and being told what to do. I love my freedoms. And I like being mature. Sometimes I just wish I could have even if just for a moment a sense of what it’s like to be a kid again.

But I must grow up. It’s unavoidable. As much as I wished I could have flown to Neverland when I was little, I had to grow up. It’s what all children must do. And that’s what I did. But in the words of the perpetual boy, “To live will be an awfully great adventure.” And I intend on my life being a great adventure, even if it means letting go of my childhood.

I feel like this post is a rambling downer. Sorry.

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About blweathers

I want to write. About what, I'm not sure. We'll figure that out together.

One response »

  1. Everyone has faced those same feelings, I’m sure!
    Personally, I am very proud of the person you were as a child!! I
    am very proud of the person you are and are becoming!!! We never
    stop growing and learning!!! Love you This not a rambling
    downer.

    Reply

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