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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

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Quote by the fabulous Elizabeth Taylor

It is an absolutely beautiful day outside today. I would love nothing more than to strap on my running shoes and go for a run on the MKT. Heck, I’d even run on Stank. Oh but wait, I can’t. Not yet at least. Even though I feel fine now, I still haven’t been cleared for physical activity by my doctor yet. Being told that I cannot exercise is seriously one of the most depressing and ANNOYING things I’ve ever been told.

But that’s not the only thing that is beyond annoying. My friends (especially when I’m driving) tend to say, “You’ve got a lot of pet peeves, don’t you?” The answer: Yes.

Here are some of them. I’ve categorized them.

Vehicular Peeves:

Me, 95% of the time when I'm driving.

  • People who cannot quickly change lanes. A lane is only 8-11 feet wide. It’s not that difficult to move that far over, especially when you are going 40 miles an hour. Move over. I do not want to have to slow down so you can ease yourself into that turn lane. I do not want to nearly side swipe the car in the lane next to me (us) because you can’t turn your wheel fast enough. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “MOVE OVER!”)
  • People who cut me off. On the other end of the changing lane spectrum are people who whip out in front of me causing me to slam on my breaks. This is even more annoying if they whip out in front of me when there is a large gap behind me. Did you really save that much time by pulling front of me instead of waiting two more seconds before getting over? I completely flip out when someone pulls out in front of me and then goes at a snail pace. If you are going to cut me off, you better be prepared to be going faster than I am. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Yeah sure, just pull out in front of me, I don’t care.”
  • People who are slower than the speed limit. I’m not a speeder. I go the speed limit (maybe five over if there isn’t a lot of traffic). But if I get stuck behind someone who is going 35 in a 45, you better believe I’m impatient. While I wish I could tailgate the person, I know better, so instead I huff and grunt and bang my steering wheel until there’s a break in the traffic so I can pass them (which I do quickly and efficiently). (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Come. ON.”

(Lack of) Politeness Peeves:

My sentiments exactly.

  • People who don’t hold the door as I’m walking out. I know you see me. I’m two feet behind you. It’s not like I was twenty feet back there. Hold the door. It takes two more seconds. If you are a guy and don’t hold the door for me, even more shame. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “No it’s okay, I’ll get the door.” The level at which I say this depends on my level of feistiness).
  • People who don’t say, “Thank you,” after I hold the door for them. Yes, this is a common courtesy, but still. Say thank you. I always say thank you when someone actually holds the door for me. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: Usually nothing, but if I feel feisty, “You’re Welcome,”).
  • People who make the cashier price check everything at the register before they buy it. Pay attention to the prices when you grab the items. Look at the price when the cashier scans them to make sure they match. Easy. Stop holding everyone else up. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: nothing, I just look at the other registers to see if I should change lanes).

Food Peeves

Om nom nom.

  • People who say they don’t like a food but have never actually tried it. Your statement is invalid. You have no idea if you actually like it, so don’t say you don’t. Just because something looks odd doesn’t mean it isn’t absolutely delish. My mom always made me at least try something before I could say that. If I tried (a normal sized bite, chewed and swallowed) it and still didn’t like it, then I didn’t have to eat it. Also, just because you didn’t like something as a kid doesn’t mean you still don’t like it now. I used to hate mushrooms. Now it’s one of my favorite veggies. Your tastes mature as you do. Keep trying things. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “No, you can’t say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it. Try it. TRY IT).
  • Dining halls who give sexist portions. For some reason, and I don’t know why, the dining halls here at Mizzou give unequal portions to men and women. For men, they load up their plates. For women, they give us far smaller portions. On Chicken Finger Day, men on average get 3 chicken fingers. Women: two. Macaroni and cheese is a heaping scoop for men, and a shaken down scoop for women. It’s infuriating. I look up the nutrition of my food before I go to get it. I know that is not half a cup of green beans on my plate, sir. The serving size is four meatballs, not three, ma’am. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Um, can I have a little more? That’s not the serving.” They usually don’t give it to me either, which is even more annoying).

And now, the thing that annoys me the most:

  • Improper use of your and you’re, and there, they’re and their. For heaven’s sake people, you learned this in elementary school. Your is possessive. Your shirt. Your phone. Not my hamburger but your hamburger. You’re is a contraction of you and are. “You’re doing very well in that class” “You’re much smarter than I am.” “You’re going to the store, and I’m going to yoga.” There indicates a place. “Place my coffee on the table over there.” “There is my shirt, I’ve been looking for it.” “Yes, I’ve been there before.” They’re is a contraction of they and are. “They’re going to the movies tonight.” “They’re not coming to the party.” Their is possessive. “Their daughter is in my son’s class.” “Their dog is really cute.” “Their house is really big.” Come on, people. Get it together. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: facepalm followed by correction in my head, unless I know the person, in which I correct them).

Take note, gentlemen.

There are more things that annoy me, but these are my biggest annoyances. People of the world: pull yourself together. I may be sweet and peppy on the outside, but on the inside, I’m imagining stapling things to your head (sort of, I’m not that morbid).


About blweathers

I want to write. About what, I'm not sure. We'll figure that out together.

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