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Why I Just Don’t Care About Sports (And Why I’m Okay With That)

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Mizzou suffered a great loss yesterday. At least that’s what I heard, I was busy playing Oregon Trail on my phone while my friends were listening to the game (if it makes you feel any better, Martha died of dysentery right before we made it to the fort). While most of the population of Mizzou mourned our sad loss to Norfolk, I went about my evening. I mean sure, it’s kind of a bummer that we lost, but in all reality, I didn’t really care.

Before you grab your pitchforks and torches to get me, know that it wouldn’t matter what sport we were playing. I wouldn’t care. I just don’t care about sports in the same way normal people do.

This isn’t a new thing either. I’ve never cared about sports. When I was six, my mom signed me up for pee-wee soccer. I was so excited to get the cute little uniform, but my very first game, I ran over to my mom in the middle of the game crying and said, “They took the ball from me! I had it and they took it! And they kicked me in the shins! I need an ice pack.” I then spent the rest of the game cradling ice packs to my legs. And that was the end of my soccer career.

In junior high, I played both volleyball and basketball. I wasn’t very good at either. Volleyball I played mainly because my friends were playing, and I was taller than most of the guys, so I would look intimidating (at least before the game started). I played basketball again for the sake of pre game intimidation, and because my crush played and any extra time I could spend with him was a win in my book.

High school I came to my senses and didn’t even bother trying out for sports. I did however, have to suffer through P.E. still. I hated P.E. more than anything. There is nothing worse than having to 1) change in front of other girls whom you kind of know but not really and 2) be in a co-ed class where most of the guys were really attractive. It also didn’t help that my teacher was a die-hard runner and that was the worst possible thing for me to do at the time. During our warm up run, he would always walk up beside me (because I wouldn’t run, I’d just power walk) and say, “You know you’re being graded on attitude, Weathers,” to which I would reply, “I have an attitude, it’s just not a positive one.” Somehow I still got a B in that class.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I even began to give physical activity a positive thought. I didn’t know that exercise could actually be fun. Now (well, before I got Lyme Disease) I run, swim, do yoga and pilates, zumba, hip hop and the occasional circuit training.

Note none of the activities I like to do are “sports.” I really just don’t care about sports. I have tried to watch them. I end up asking those around me what’s going on that I miss most of the game. A lot of the contact sports seem really violent and I find myself yelling, “Be nice!” to the players rather than “Get ’em!” like the rest of the crowd. Non-contact sports are boring, because nothing seems to happen really.

The Olympics are coming up this summer, and I will tune in to watch that. Well, I’ll tune in to watch the gymnastics and the swimming. The other things aren’t that interesting (although if they have trampolining on tv, I may consider watching that).

So I don’t like sports. I can’t help it. I’ve tried. It just doesn’t appeal to me. I’ve come to the conclusion that some people become giddy at the prospect of their favorite team going to the Superbowl, and I become giddy over my favorite actor getting nominated for an Oscar. I am already beginning to plan for the 2013 Oscar Party that Kate, Rae and I are hosting (there may be a Pinterest board for it). I scour over movie trailers and reviews. I get more excited that I found a great recipe to try than I do when a baseball team wins its division championship (baseball is in divisions, right?).

We all have different tastes. You can watch the Superbowl. I’ll throw a football themed party for all of you to watch the game at. I don’t mind. You shouldn’t either.

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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

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Quote by the fabulous Elizabeth Taylor

It is an absolutely beautiful day outside today. I would love nothing more than to strap on my running shoes and go for a run on the MKT. Heck, I’d even run on Stank. Oh but wait, I can’t. Not yet at least. Even though I feel fine now, I still haven’t been cleared for physical activity by my doctor yet. Being told that I cannot exercise is seriously one of the most depressing and ANNOYING things I’ve ever been told.

But that’s not the only thing that is beyond annoying. My friends (especially when I’m driving) tend to say, “You’ve got a lot of pet peeves, don’t you?” The answer: Yes.

Here are some of them. I’ve categorized them.

Vehicular Peeves:

Me, 95% of the time when I'm driving.

  • People who cannot quickly change lanes. A lane is only 8-11 feet wide. It’s not that difficult to move that far over, especially when you are going 40 miles an hour. Move over. I do not want to have to slow down so you can ease yourself into that turn lane. I do not want to nearly side swipe the car in the lane next to me (us) because you can’t turn your wheel fast enough. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “MOVE OVER!”)
  • People who cut me off. On the other end of the changing lane spectrum are people who whip out in front of me causing me to slam on my breaks. This is even more annoying if they whip out in front of me when there is a large gap behind me. Did you really save that much time by pulling front of me instead of waiting two more seconds before getting over? I completely flip out when someone pulls out in front of me and then goes at a snail pace. If you are going to cut me off, you better be prepared to be going faster than I am. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Yeah sure, just pull out in front of me, I don’t care.”
  • People who are slower than the speed limit. I’m not a speeder. I go the speed limit (maybe five over if there isn’t a lot of traffic). But if I get stuck behind someone who is going 35 in a 45, you better believe I’m impatient. While I wish I could tailgate the person, I know better, so instead I huff and grunt and bang my steering wheel until there’s a break in the traffic so I can pass them (which I do quickly and efficiently). (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Come. ON.”

(Lack of) Politeness Peeves:

My sentiments exactly.

  • People who don’t hold the door as I’m walking out. I know you see me. I’m two feet behind you. It’s not like I was twenty feet back there. Hold the door. It takes two more seconds. If you are a guy and don’t hold the door for me, even more shame. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “No it’s okay, I’ll get the door.” The level at which I say this depends on my level of feistiness).
  • People who don’t say, “Thank you,” after I hold the door for them. Yes, this is a common courtesy, but still. Say thank you. I always say thank you when someone actually holds the door for me. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: Usually nothing, but if I feel feisty, “You’re Welcome,”).
  • People who make the cashier price check everything at the register before they buy it. Pay attention to the prices when you grab the items. Look at the price when the cashier scans them to make sure they match. Easy. Stop holding everyone else up. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: nothing, I just look at the other registers to see if I should change lanes).

Food Peeves

Om nom nom.

  • People who say they don’t like a food but have never actually tried it. Your statement is invalid. You have no idea if you actually like it, so don’t say you don’t. Just because something looks odd doesn’t mean it isn’t absolutely delish. My mom always made me at least try something before I could say that. If I tried (a normal sized bite, chewed and swallowed) it and still didn’t like it, then I didn’t have to eat it. Also, just because you didn’t like something as a kid doesn’t mean you still don’t like it now. I used to hate mushrooms. Now it’s one of my favorite veggies. Your tastes mature as you do. Keep trying things. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “No, you can’t say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it. Try it. TRY IT).
  • Dining halls who give sexist portions. For some reason, and I don’t know why, the dining halls here at Mizzou give unequal portions to men and women. For men, they load up their plates. For women, they give us far smaller portions. On Chicken Finger Day, men on average get 3 chicken fingers. Women: two. Macaroni and cheese is a heaping scoop for men, and a shaken down scoop for women. It’s infuriating. I look up the nutrition of my food before I go to get it. I know that is not half a cup of green beans on my plate, sir. The serving size is four meatballs, not three, ma’am. (My usual exclamation of annoyance: “Um, can I have a little more? That’s not the serving.” They usually don’t give it to me either, which is even more annoying).

And now, the thing that annoys me the most:

  • Improper use of your and you’re, and there, they’re and their. For heaven’s sake people, you learned this in elementary school. Your is possessive. Your shirt. Your phone. Not my hamburger but your hamburger. You’re is a contraction of you and are. “You’re doing very well in that class” “You’re much smarter than I am.” “You’re going to the store, and I’m going to yoga.” There indicates a place. “Place my coffee on the table over there.” “There is my shirt, I’ve been looking for it.” “Yes, I’ve been there before.” They’re is a contraction of they and are. “They’re going to the movies tonight.” “They’re not coming to the party.” Their is possessive. “Their daughter is in my son’s class.” “Their dog is really cute.” “Their house is really big.” Come on, people. Get it together. (Usual exclamation of annoyance: facepalm followed by correction in my head, unless I know the person, in which I correct them).

Take note, gentlemen.

There are more things that annoy me, but these are my biggest annoyances. People of the world: pull yourself together. I may be sweet and peppy on the outside, but on the inside, I’m imagining stapling things to your head (sort of, I’m not that morbid).

Chick Flicks and Fun Songs and Hot Guys–Oh My!

Last year for Valentine’s day I created a playlist for all the single girls out there. This year I wanted to do something different. Everyone who knows me knows I am a hopeless romantic, especially when it comes to movies. So what better way to celebrate the Day of Love than to compile a list of most romantic clips from my favorite movies? Let the swooning and cheesiness commence!

Disney’s Cinderella: So This Is Love— http://youtu.be/byPjh6unMOM

Cinderella is my all time favorite Disney movie, and this scene in particular was always one of my favorites. Cinderella finally arrives to the ball, her eyes meet Prince Charming, and that’s it. They’re in love. Jane Austen said, “To be fond of dancing is a certain step towards falling in love,” and after that quick moment of the two dancing, it’s safe to say that idea rings true for them.

Beauty and the Beast: Tale as Old as Timehttp://youtu.be/3eRWM8tKph8

Another Disney classic, but for good reason. Belle is finally able to see past the Beast’s rough exterior and the Beast is able to put aside his fears and take a chance on love. Not to mention Belle’s dress is to die for and the ballroom is stunning. I don’t know what girl wouldn’t want to dance in there.

Tangled: I See the Light— http://youtu.be/ut1_0cRRYeE

Something about a Boat, twinkly lights and a super attractive thief makes this scene. The amount of lanterns surrounding Flynn/Eugene and Rapunzel add the most romantic glow, and the lyrics to the song are so adorable. It’s the a-ha moment. it’s like the lightbulb, or in this case lantern, went off in their heads.

Pride and Prejudice (2005): Darcy and Elizabeth Dance— http://youtu.be/ykf0dtw8OYc

While the BBC five-hour version of Pride and Prejudice is my definitely favorite adaptation, this 2005 version warrants some attention too. Especially this scene in which Darcy and Lizzy finally dance. Remember that quote from Ms. Austen? Yeah, it applies here too. In a big way. My favorite part of this scene? When everyone else fades out and it is just the two of them dancing. They are so focused on each other they don’t even notice the other dancers in the large room.

Love Actually: Jamie in Portugal, Sam at the Airport— http://youtu.be/-EuupVLB4VI

I could easily have put this entire movie on the list, but Sam and Jamie were my two favorite storylines throughout the movie. And the fact that their endings are juxtaposed is absolutely perfect. I can only hope one day some guy will be willing to bypass airport security and fly to another country just to tell me he loves me.

10 Things I Hate About You: Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You— http://youtu.be/jpWJ-rY-Hdc

Cutie Pie Cameron told Patrick the only way to win Kat’s affections again would be to “sacrifice himself on the altar of dignity.” In this one sweeping gesture, Patrick did just that, and not only melted  Kat’s heart but the hearts of every teenage girl watching the movie, myself included.

Atonement: Library— http://youtu.be/NPca-YKsT1w (This is the edited version, so it’s safe for all audiences)

 

Thankfully I was able to find an appropriate clip of this scene, because the unedited version does include mature content, but it has all my favorite elements for a romantic movie: period dress, a library and James McAvoy.

 

There are so many other movies I wish  could include, but Youtube doesn’t have clips for them. And given the chance, I would have posted many more Disney Princess movies. I decided to just pick my favorites instead of putting them all. Hope everyone enjoyed giggling like a little school girl and being swept up in the romantic-ness of it all! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Put the Lime in the Coconut…

I know I haven’t posted in goodness knows how long, but I just didn’t have anything interesting to write. I figure if I don’t have anything that I wouldn’t want to read in mind to write, then I won’t write anything. But since Kate is busy writing magnificent reviews for Oscar noms (to be read here), and Rae is chronicling her adventures abroad (hers is a private blog), I figured I should find something to write about.

Only, nothing of significance has happened in my life lately.

Except that I contracted Lyme Disease.

Wrong kind of lime.

To save you the gory details, look it up on WebMD or Wikipedia. In short, the disease has settled into my joints and causes pain whenever pressure is exerted upon them. What sort of pressure? Oh, you know, walking, standing, sitting, bending, kneeling, pulling things, pushing things, carrying things, sleeping, breathing, etc.

Ow.

I’m sure you are probably wondering, “How on earth did you get Lyme Disease?” I’m wondering that myself. As one friend put it, “You know Lyme Disease comes from ticks, right?” Many of you know that I am not exactly what you would call “outdoorsy” (as explained in my previous post about the Infamous Canoe Trip of 2011), so the idea that a tick somehow found me, bit me, and gave me this disease is a bit puzzling.

And I will admit, it is pretty painful. I have to take antibiotics and pain killers, and those only sometimes help. I have to take elevators and ramps instead of stairs because the latter is too painful. I’m not allowed to work out because it could hurt my joints even more. Even the most low impact activities can hurt. Getting to classes take For-Freaking-Ever, because I walk so much slower than I usually do. So I have to leave a lot earlier for classes in order to get there on time.

I guess I could always find another means of getting there though…

Too creepy. Sorry, Gaga. I don't like eggs. Or rubber dresses/boxer briefs.

Now we're talking...

…I kid, I kid. Unless there are some attractive guys who would be willing–in that case I have class at nine every morning but Tuesday.

While having Lyme’s is painful, I’m learning to deal with it. And hopefully, if I take all of my antibiotics, I’ll be cured of it forever. Until it goes away, I’m learning to take things slower, enjoy downtime, and put aside my incessant need for independence in order to ask for help when I need it (Seriously, being 21 and asking someone to help put your shoes on–not fun). Thankfully I have amazing friends and family who are willing to help, and have been praying and encouraging me through this whole process. This all would be so much harder without them.

So hopefully the next time I post (and really, you never know when that might be), I will be Lyme free, and this little guy will have found another living thing to infect:

Lyme Disease, plush toy style. The real thing is probably not as cute. And I'm guessing way, way smaller.

“After all this time?” “Always.”

***For the sake of this post I’m going to assume every reader knows Harry Potter. If you happened to have lived under a rock for the past fourteen years, go to a bookstore or library and read them. And if you are one of those two people in the world who have read the books or seen the movie (or if you have and want to bawl your eyes out again), here’s the scene I’m going to be talking about: Snape’s Memories

Always: adv.  forevercontinuously, without interruption, without exception.

Such a simple word with such a powerful meaning. There are few lines in books that stick with me as much as this one. Perhaps it is the hopeless romantic in me, or maybe it’s just because I picture Alan Rickman/Snape saying it, but I got chills when reading it in the book and I was an emotional wreck in the movie theater when I heard it.

Snape’s love for Lily surpasses Ron and Hermione’s, Harry and Ginny’s, and any other relationship/love that you could think of in the series. Even after Lily chose James over Snape, after she has a child who looks exactly like her husband, Snape continues to love her. He sacrifices himself for her child. He vows to protect him, no matter what the cost.

Gets me every time.

I don’t know if Rowling meant for the sentence to be so poignant, but I know I am not the only one who sniffles at the thought of that scene. I can no longer see always written anywhere else without my mind flashing back to Snape. I feel as though it must be said now in a hushed, reverent tone, in honor of the fallen man who uttered the sacred word (I’m not being sarcastic here, by the way, I take all things Harry Potter very seriously). It is all because of one character in a children’s novel that always will forever hold a deeper meaning for me. Harry Potter was more than just a book series to me. They were as real as any non-fiction book. I will pass the stories down to my children and they will pass it down to theirs.

So thanks, Jo, for bringing such magic and wonder and love in my life for the past fourteen years. My love for Harry Potter will remain steadfast, forever and always.

The Twelve* Stages of the 24hr Stomach Flu

The last twenty-four hours have been less than ideal for me. Between feeling like my bedroom was spinning to sleeping with a garbage bag nearby bedside table in case I get sick and can’t make it to the bathroom, I have had what most would consider the stomach flu. Except unlike the full-blown stomach flu, this is the condensed, Sparknotes version. All the same symptoms, but all in the span of about a day. And trust me, the symptoms are just as bad. Worse even. For the sake of those lovely people who have been blessed with never having the 24 Stomach Flu, let me break it down for you, stage by stage:

Stage 1: Huh, that’s weird, I’m suddenly not feeling to well. You day will start off normal. Nothing out of the ordinary will happen, you’ll go to you classes or work, you eat the same thing you always eat for lunch, but then, something changes. You begin to feel a little off. You may get a stomach ache, even though all you ate for lunch was a turkey sub and Baked Lays from Subway. At this stage you blame your ill feelings on indigestion or not eating enough.

Even in illness I'm still a grammar nazi.

Stage 2: Wow, what is going on with me? Now you know it’s probably not indigestion. The Peptol Bysmol you took is not helping. Not only do you now have a stomach ache, but thinking about food is now causing you to become ill. You may also experience dizziness and sudden fatigue.

Stage 3: Okay, I really don’t feel well. At this point, you pack up your work, tell your boss you need to go home and hope to god you can make it there before getting sick all over the sidewalk. You stumble home, trying hard not to smell the Domino’s Pizza and Chipotle you must pass on your way home.

Stage 4: Why is the room spinning? I think I’m going to be sick. Hopefully you made it home vomit free. If you have, bonus points to you! If not, sucks to be you. You are now laying on your bed, wishing that the ceiling would stop rotating and your bed would stop jarring. Your backpack/briefcase/whatever-you-carry-your-work-things-in bag has been dumped on the floor along with your coat, mail (if you even bothered to get it), and shoes. You can pick them up later when the idea of bending over is to pick them up, not to throw up in the toilet. Most likely at this stage, you will get sick. And it will be violent. And you will feel like crap.

Hopefully you won't look as pathetic as this guy.

Stage 5: The “Dear God I’m Going to Die” Panic Attack. You’ve gotten sick. It was awful. You feel awful. You crawl back into bed, limbs shaking from the strain you just put on them. As you lie there trying to regain stability, a horrible thought runs through your head: I’m going to die. What ever this is, is going to kill me. At that moment you wish you had ordered the meatball sub instead of the Turkey sub, because the meatball was what you really wanted but you didn’t get it because it was higher in calories. You wish you had the strength to write a quick will, so that your friends and family know who should get your monkey cookie jar and who should get your giraffe figurine from Nigeria. An overwhelming fear overcomes you when you realize neither of your roommates/family members are home and they will come in and find you dead, half in your pajamas, half in your work clothes with your hair slightly damp from rinsing the vomit out of it. You wish you had shaved your legs the night before so the coroner wouldn’t have to touch your hairy legs. All of this happens within the span of about a minute to a minute and a half.

Stage 6: Acceptance of your impending death and peace knowing you’ll soon be done with whatever this is. After the panic attack subsides, you suddenly don’t really care if you die or not. If you die, you get to go to heaven, and you won’t feel like crap anymore. And at the time, that sounds pretty good. You don’t want to die, but you’ve come to terms with it.

JESUS: Stomach flu, eh? ME: Yeah, couldn't seem to keep anything down. JESUS: Well come on in, I'll make you some loaves and fish. You must be starving.

Stage 7: The Major Nap. As you drift off to Heaven sleep, your body just kind of takes over and puts you in a coma. You’re out for hours, and not even an earthquake or the apocalypse would wake you. This is a good thing, because at least you aren’t throwing up.

She has no idea zombies are about to break down her door.

Stage 8: The fullest bladder ever; also known as the biggest pee in your life. If you were taking care of yourself prior to the major nap, you would have been drinking plenty of clear fluids or Gatorade. What little managed to stay in you have now made it to your bladder and honey, your bladder is about to burst. You run to the bathroom, happy that for once you’re not there to vomit. Relieved that your bladder is no longer empty, and that you didn’t get sick, you think maybe you’ll try to eat something.

Stage 9: The sudden food cravings. Because you haven’t eaten anything in quite a while, your body might want something odd, but nothing that would make you sick again. Like mashed potatoes. Or a PB&J. Or buttered noodles and parmesan from Noodles and Company. If you’re lucky enough to have those foods, you’ll make them. If not, you’ll find something else to eat.

Oh yes please.

*Optional Stage: The revert to sickness. If your food craving did not make you feel better, it may cause you to get sick again. If this occurs, stages 7-9 might be repeated.

Stage 10: The Second Major Nap. Just to be on the safe side, you’ll take a nap after you eat something. This nap will either confirm or deny whether you are getting better or not. If you wake up during the nap and get sick, then that’s a bad sign. If you make it through this nap without getting sick, the light is at the end of the tunnel my friends.

Stage 11: The starvation mode. If you Successfully made it through the Second Major Nap, you will most likely wake up starving. It will feel as though your stomach is a black hole that will suck itself away if you don’t get food this very instant. You will be ravenous. Don’t make the mistake though of eating whatever is in the fridge. That will just make you sick again. Eat a full meal, but make sure is still bland-ish.

The downside to stomach flu (besides your body refusing to keep anything down) is that you don't get turned into a butterfly at the end. You're still just you.

Stage 12: I’m totally fine again. What the crap? Suddenly, all is well. It will feel like you were never sick. And there’s no particular reason for it. All you know is you were on your death-bed a few hours ago and now you’re completely better. C’est la vie.

Okay, you probably won't feel this great. But she's only that happy because she's getting paid.

Update 5/1/2015: I can’t believe this post has become so popular! If you would like to see what I am up to now, head over to my new blog, The Reluctant Fit Foodie!

Tree Climbing Fish vs. God Given Talent

During my procrastination in studying this evening, I was scrolling through Facebook, creeping on my friends, when I came across this quote:

Tree Climbing Fish. Let's just make that animal even scarier.

The quote really struck a chord with me, because lately I’ve been wondering what exactly my talents are, other than owning the world’s largest collection of headbands and being excellent at getting stressed. Because let’s face it, I have a lot of things I’m not very good at.

For instance,

  • I don’t know how to ride a bike.
  • I’m really not good at any sports.
  • I’m not very artistic.
  • I feel nauseated and grow faint at the thought of public speaking.
  • I am the least confrontational person I know and would rather avoid the person/situation entirely rather than deal with it.
  • I am the worst test taker ever. As soon as the test is set on my desk, my mind goes blank.
  • I am a complete drama queen and freak out over the littlest things.

But, if Einstein was right in his quote (and I’m pretty sure he was, since the guy was a genius), then maybe I’m just a fish trying to climb a tree. Or, for the sake of leaving fish out of it, I’m a cow trying to walk downstairs (which is completely true by the way. Cows can walk up stairs but they cannot walk down stairs). Maybe I’m failing at those things because I’m only focusing on what I can’t do. Maybe I should think of what I can do instead.

For example,

  • I can shimmy like nobody’s business.
  • I can write decent, albeit predictable stories.
  • I have really great, intimate conversations with a person.
  • I can crank out a research paper in my sleep.
  • I have a pretty good sense of style.
  • I am good a color coordinating things.
  • I am known to throw nice parties.
  • I am a decent cook.
  • According to my roommate, I make people feel welcome.
  • I try to find the pretty and good things in life.

So, even though I have a lot of things that I am not so good at, and in fact suck at, I have a lot of other things that I do well at (wow, that’s a lot of prepositions, forgive me, it’s late.). I know I get really down on myself sometimes, and I often wonder what on earth I’m going to do with my life after I graduate, but at least I’m studying something that I can excel in; I could be a math major and hating my life right now. God has given me certain talents, and I need to learn to use them, no matter how small or petty they may seem. He wouldn’t have given them to me if he didn’t want me to use them, right?

Just some food for thought before bed.

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